That is just one possibility, but my taste-buds are tickled by the wider, less trammelled paths this story could take. It would occur entirely by chance at a reunion you didnвЂ™t want to attend and, after breaking a few hearts along the way (especially your childrenвЂ™s), conclude with you setting off into your twilight years, hand in hand. If you want to inhabit a romcom and give readers the answers they want, IвЂ™d say thereвЂ™s every chance of reigniting this first love. Of course, the ending of any tale also depends on the bravery and ambition of the writer. So youвЂ™ve definitely written to the right person. Not only have I come round to his way of thinking, but IвЂ™d say that novels have given me both an appetite for stories and the ability to guess where they might end up. I was reading a passage from Graham Greene last week in which he described the euphoria he felt when he discovered he could read how huge the world felt and how endless the possibilities. Recently, I had a Damascene revelation вЂ“ itвЂ™s not my own life events that guide me, but the diet of fiction that comes with my other day-job, talking about books on Radio 4. I used to think the reason I had an aptitude for dilemmas such as yours was because my own life has been liberally scattered with problems. Maybe I should cut off here and make this the shortest column IвЂ™ve ever written but, no, letвЂ™s carry on and see where it takes us. Mariella replies YouвЂ™ve got two kids you love deeply and a strong and loving relationship with your wife, both of which are under threat because of a past relationship that didnвЂ™t work out. Sometimes I indulge in wild fantasies that one day, after the kids are grown up, I would get in touch and we could finally be together. My ex-love subsequently divorced, remarried and now also has children.

Whil e IвЂ™ve always had a strong and loving relationship with my wife, in my heart of hearts itвЂ™s never quite felt the same. It ended because we both gave in to fear вЂ“ mine of attachment and hers of letting go of the security of a (broken) marriage. Yet we came together and my relationship with her remains the most beautiful and profound experience of my life. For 15 years I have buried my feelings for her, yet the release valve has been opened and I am unable to shut it off.ДЄt the time she was married to a cheating husband who had supported her through some horrific experiences when she was younger вЂ“ and I was emotionally insecure and unstable. I cried my eyes out and ever since sheвЂ™s been in my thoughts day and night. Nine months ago I found and reread some old letters from my first love. The dilemma IвЂ™m a married man in my mid- 40s with two deeply loved children.

It is my first love